The Top Ten Biggest Jerks in Comics

This list is not to be confused with a list of top ten villains. The characters listed below are strictly the jerks. Note that the jerks in comics can be heroes or villains. Most of the characters who are criminally insane do not qualify as jerks, as most of them are slaves to their mental diseases. These people below are complete jerks because they want to be.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

These miserable cretins are still pretty big jerks, but just didn’t quite make the top ten.



THE PENGUIN:

 

Oswald Cobblepot, ("The Penguin") is the personification of the abuse of power. He is a constant reminder to Bruce Wayne of what could happen if he were to be unethical with his own fortune. Cobblepot is a mover and shaker in Gotham City, being a descendant of one of the Gotham's most prestigious founding families. However, instead of using his inherited fortune for philanthropy, Cobblepot would rather swindle people out of their own finances and livelihood, whether it be through his notorious Iceberg Casino, gang warfare or even through local politics! No matter what plan Cobblepot has cooking for Gotham, you can be sure he will try to keep his own hands clean.

 

MR. SINISTER:

Mr. Sinister just cannot get enough of himself. As a scientific genius in the fields of biology, genetics, physics and engineering, he has mastered the science of cloning. When he is not trying to manipulate his enemies into slavery through telekinesis, he is making tons of copies of himself in fear of losing his immortality. He was even able to turn the whole city of San Francisco into his own personal city which he called, "Sinister, London." Modeled after Victorian-era architecture and style, the only inhabitants of Sinister, London were clones of Mr. Sinister, go figure!
 

 

M.O.D.O.K.:

 

M.O.D.O.K., or (Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing), is an ungrateful, malicious jerk. He had the audacity to turn on the scientists that created him, taking control of AIM, (Advanced Idea Mechanics). Since that point, he has been a constant fly in the ointment to the likes of Ms. Marvel, Captain America and the Avengers. Although usually thwarted with ease by the world's mightiest heroes, MODOK has been a constant annoyance over the years. He is most noted for weaponizing biological agents to terrorize millions, striking deals with other evil-doers and kidnapping the girlfriends of superheroes.

 

DOCTOR DOOM:

 

 

 

Doctor Victor von Doom is the malevolent monarch of the small European country of Latveria. Being a scientific genius, he has invented many forms of tech with the intent of world domination. One of his most notable inventions, his "Doom-bots," are controlled technopathically by Doom himself to patrol the streets of Latveria like his own personal S.S. and do his evil bidding. He has also tried to steal the powers of numerous superheroes and villians, including the Silver Surfer, Galactus and Terrax. If that's not bad enough, he even tried to steal the infinity gauntlet from Thanos, but then again, allowing Thanos to wield such power is probably even worse!

 

LOBO:

 

 

Lobo is a czarnian galactic bounty hunter and smuggler. He has no real moral values, going wherever the money takes him. This lifestyle has caused Lobo to jump back and forth between the forces of good and evil countless times. He usually tries to kill just about everyone he is assigned to capture, including his own children, his fourth-grade teacher and Santa Claus! Also, he frequents a little restaurant called Al's Diner. Although he always protects Al and his waitress Darlene, his presence in the diner almost always ends with the diner getting torn apart, making "the main man" the master of crapping where he eats!

 

 

 

 

 

...and now I present to you: the top ten!!

 

#10.) MYSTIQUE:

 

 

Mystique is a classic dishonest, prank-loving jerk. Since she’s a shape-shifter, she’ll turn into whoever she pleases to get what she wants. Her latest "jerk-move" entails sneaking into Wolverine's quarters at the Jean Grey School and trashing the place, stealing Wolverine's cherished sword in the process.

#9.) DEADPOOL:

 

 

Deadpool, “the merc with the mouth,” is the token annoying jerk of Marvel Comics. He’ll talk, and talk and talk until you want to literally kill him, but the most annoying thing about that is that it’s almost impossible to kill him due to his healing factor! Oh, and if he has no one to talk to at the moment, or if you try to ignore him, he doesn't mind. He'll just have a nice long conversation with himself, considering his mental instability and schizophrenia.

#8.) WOLVERINE:

 

 

This guy’s one of those “been there, done that,” “one-upper” kind of jerks. I'm sure the fact that Wolvie's been alive for hundreds of years longer than most people  justifies some of this behavior, but just because someone is really old doesn't mean they know everything. He is like this senior citizen that everyone has to placate and respect just because he's the oldest. (He's seen things man!!) He is a mass murderer who for some reason has enough charm to fool both the X-Men and The Avengers into thinking he's a great guy. If that's not enough, he drowned his own son in a lake!

#7.) LARFLEEZE:

 

 

Larfleeze is a greedy jerk. He is perhaps the greediest being in all of comics. Since he is the wielder of the orange light, and since orange lanterns get their power from greed, Larfleeze travels the universe searching for valuables to steal and add to his giant mound of treasures. When Larfleeze hears that there is a holiday on Earth named "Christmas," in which every Earth-being is given everything they desire by a God-like man named "Santa Claus," he writes a Christmas list miles long. However, when no presents appear under the tree for greedy Larfleeze on Christmas morning, he throws a temper tantrum that could rival any fit a toddler could throw. He then goes on a dangerous rampage throughout the city to find St. Nick and locate his presents, roughing up numerous imposter-Santas at parades and shopping malls along the way.

#6.) SINESTRO:

 
Thaal Sinestro is an embodiment of arrogance to say the least. Once a mentor to Hal Jordan during his "rookie season" with the Green Lantern Corps, Sinestro has become the leader of the Yellow Lanterns, (Sinestro Corps), and arch nemesis of the Green Lanterns. This turncoat harnessed the power of fear, which negates the will power utilized by the Green Lanterns to a certain extent. (Although Sinestro finds out later that yellow light is not an even match for green.) He has been responsible for the repression of his own people, conquering and ruling his home planet of Korugar that he was once chosen to protect. He is also the murderer of the guardians of the universe. I suppose that no matter how many times Hal Jordan tries to befriend him and inspire him to do good, you just can't teach an old dog new tricks.

 

#5.) THE RIDDLER:

 

 

The Riddler is the classic narcissistic jerk. He cannot commit a crime without leaving a riddle behind for Batman to solve. He needs Batman, or the police, or whoever it may be to know that it was him that committed the crime. Presently in “Batman: Zero Year,” written by Scott Snyder, the Riddler has not only created a blackout in all of Gotham City just in time for one of the worst storms in decades, but he has also managed to infiltrate Wayne Enterprises, killing numerous employees on his way through the building, just so he can sit on the roof and play solitaire while he waits for Bruce Wayne! (Obviously, the Riddler just wants Brucie to know how easy it was to get through his security.)

#4.) LOKI:

 

Loki, brother of Thor, "God of Lies and Mischief," is the classic trickster-jerk. Within his bag of tricks are telepathy, flight, shape-shifting, inter-dimensional teleportation, psionic abilities, astral projection, molecular rearrangement, energy blasts, illusion casting and hypnosis. With this large array of super powers, Loki has tried all kinds of evil schemes in a quest for power, including the overtaking of both Asgard and Earth. He always makes deals with the scum of the Marvel Universe in order to get what he wants. Whether he is trying to kill his stepbrother, "The God of Thunder," kidnap Jane Foster or use his amazing powers of deception to endanger all of Asgard, if Loki is present, call the Avengers!

 

#3.) LEX LUTHOR:

 

 

 

 This man is perhaps the most narcissistic, egomaniacal jerk in all of comics. Sure, Lex Luthor will fund that new school or hospital in Metropolis, just as long as everyone else knows it was him who funded it! Lex has this complex where he simply must be the best at everything. Well, being a genius and all, he pretty much is the best, at everything he accomplishes at least. Then, this "Superman" comes along, a being that can accomplish almost any task imaginable. Naturally, and just as psychotically as it seems, Lex must prove that he is better than Superman. This rivalry of decades has caused Luthor to create all kinds of intricate schemes, which include tricking a teenage boy into volunteering to be the subject of his experiment to create a duplicate of Superman, only to have the boy turn into "Bizarro," a warped, mutated version of the man of steel. Lex is actually responsible for the creation of other members of Superman's rouge's gallery as well, including Parasite and Metallo. He's also famous for abusing the hell out of being president of the United States. During Luthor's very short term in the oval office, he tried to put a billion-dollar reward on Superman's head, blaming him for a kryptonite asteroid headed for Earth. As usual, everything ended for Lex with a final showdown against Superman, Lex dawning his classic apokoliptic battle suit. As usual, Lex get's his ass beat.

 

#2.) DOCTOR OCTOPUS:

 

 

This obnoxious, know-it-all, condescending, “legend in his own mind,” jerk has done more to earn his "jerk-stripes" than most of the other miscreants on this list. During an accidental radiation leak that ended in an explosion, the four-armed prosthetic apparatus created by Doctor Otto Octavius, (aka Doctor Octopus), became fused to his body. The radiation also mutated his brain to be able to control the movement of his mechanical arms with thoughts alone. Ever since this occurrence, Doc Ock has become one of the biggest jerks in the Marvel Universe. Whether he's stealing government equipment to create nuclear weapons, stealing Peter Parker's memories with the ultimate nullifier, stealing Peter Parker's body with a brain-swapping device, or even stealing Peter Parker's life as Spider-Man, this creep always has something up his sleeve, and it will always endanger a lot of people.

#1.) BATMAN :

 

 

 

 

  I already know I may be offending masses of fanboys as I speak, but think about it for a minute. As precise and tactical as Batman is, he’s a terrible person to work with. It’s always his way or the highway, you can’t tell the guy anything. He thinks he’s better than everyone else in the Justice League, and he’s the only one there without any super powers! He endangers countless minors in the community by making them “side-kicks,” leading to the violent murders of two of his “Robins,” (Jason Todd, and his own son, Damian Wayne). He even went as far as to create specific contingency plans on how to neutralize each member of the Justice League; which means as cunning as this guy may be, he most definitely doesn’t trust anyone. If that’s not enough, he spends the majority of his free time sitting in a cave pouting like the emo kid of the DCU.

The DC Cinematic Universe and Gal Gadot: Does she make the grade?

Justice League concept art by Alex Ross

The Formation of the DC Comics Cinematic Universe:

        Unlike some of the comic book-oriented flops of yesteryear, most of today's more lucrative Hollywood blockbusters just happen to be comic book movies. Why is this, and why are people going crazy over superhero movies? Well, when Hollywood tried to capture the essence of some of America's most beloved comic heroes back twenty or thirty years ago, the special effects just didn't do them justice. In present day, Hollywood finally has the technological capabilities to do pretty much whatever they want. Plus, with the extra two or three decades of comic literature to fall back on, (which in my own personal opinion really started to blossom for both Marvel and DC during the 1980's) it becomes a real piece of cake for writers to throw together endless screenplays. We have all seen Marvel Comics capitalize on these resources for the past decade, being greatly immersed in their "Phase II" of Marvel flicks. (Phase II kicked off with Iron Man 3, and includes Thor 2, Captain America 2, Guardians of the Galaxy, Amazing Spiderman 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past and Avengers 2.) However, it seems DC Comics has not been as zealous as Marvel when it comes to pumping out films to commemorate their marque characters. Some fans may be overly-anxious and even slightly disappointed about this, but trust me, DC Comics has some great stuff cooking in their cinematic cauldron, and like the famous virtue states, all good things come to those who wait.
         Warner Bros. has announced a few times since the release of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy that their goal is to create a Justice League full length motion picture within the next five to seven years. They are certainly taking the appropriate steps in accomplishing this goal. They set the tone for this endeavor with last summer's blockbuster, "Man of Steel," making Henry Cavhill their Justice League front man for all DC projects in the foreseeable future. Although the beloved Christian Bale Batman will not be appearing in any more DC motion pictures, Cavhill will return as Superman along with Ben Affleck as the new aging Batman in "Batman Vs. Superman," set to start production very soon. Another DC cinematic benchmark was 2011's "Green Lantern" film starring Ryan Reynolds. Although the film was criticized as a flop, most true Green Lantern fanboys and comic buffs enjoyed the film, as it stayed true to the literature and gave Hal Jordan his first appearance on the silver screen, something that wouldn't have been accomplished twenty years ago.
         Another brilliant way DC has provided their marque characters with on-screen exposure is the new tv series' that have been coming out. WB's "Arrow," a thrilling, suspenseful account of Oliver Queen's struggles as the Green Arrow, has been knocking it out of the park as it heads toward the end of season two. Many other DC characters have been introduced through this series such as the mercenary Deathstroke, the assassin Huntress, the malicious marksman Deadshot, the psychotic villain Count Vertigo, and just about everyone else that ever had some degree of vitality to the Green Arrow story. Also, Barry Allen, (aka The Flash), just made his first televised appearance in many years on "Arrow," and Warner Bros. has stated that a tv series will start production very soon featuring the infamous speedster.

                                                         Footage from WB's "Arrow"

           The question still remains, where does that leave us on the path to the Justice League movie? We have our Batman, our Superman, Green Lantern, (although Reynolds may have contract disagreements due to his role with Marvel Comics as Deadpool), a potential Green Arrow and a potential Flash. Surely we would have to at least see an Aquaman motion picture, (maybe starring Liam Hemsworth?), or a tv series in order to bring these characters full circle. Then perhaps just include Martian Manhunter and Cyborg in Justice League? Also, what about Wonder Woman? Well, DC and WB, (along with much input by director Zack Snyder) have already thought that one through. It is official, Wonder Woman has been cast in Batman Vs. Superman, and our amazon warrior is actress Gal Gadot.

Gal Gadot: Amazon Warrior or Just Another Sex Symbol?

                                                  Gal Gadot: DC's New Wonder Woman


            Gal Gadot is an Israeli actress and fashion model, best known as the Miss Universe winner in 2004, and for her roles in the Fast and Furious films, Date Night and Knight and Day. There is no doubt that she will be the eye candy of the Batman Vs. Superman film, but is she really right for the role of Wonder Woman? I have had the pleasure of talking with some opinionated women and feminists on the topic, as well as a Wonder Woman buff, and most of them seem displeased with the casting decision. Wonder Woman, originally created by DC in 1941, was traditionally a tall, muscular amazon, (aka a large, ass-kicking woman) created in part to symbolize women's rights and sexual equality in America. It has been said by many that Gadot just doesn't have the build or the grits to play such a warrior woman. Although, being a typical male, and not a big Wonder Woman fan, I cannot say that I am personally displeased with the casting decision, (as Gal is a smoking hot babe) a lot of people have told me that they would have rather seen someone like Jillian Michaels (or a woman with a similar build) for the role.
        Ok, so Gardot may not have any muscles, or much of a chest, but I do believe she has the grits for the role. After all, she did serve in the Israeli Army for two years, which couldn't have been a walk in the park. She also surpassed all the requirements necessary to win Miss Universe, which means she must be in incredible shape, and not for nothing, but Ben Affleck has had to bulk up considerably for his role as Batman, so why couldn't Gal bulk up for Wonder Woman? Put some nice red 5" heels on her feet, and in my opinion, presto; we have our amazon warrior. Please feel free to comment below on what you think about Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, and any other opinions you might have on the DC cinematic universe.

Spider-Man: Superhero turned Super-Turd!

The Superior Spider-Man being a douche to Nova
 

Dan Slott's Superior Spider-Dick!

      I have read Spider-Man comics ever since I was old enough to read, and I have to say that Dan Slott has given readers a hilarious and inventive breath of fresh air in his new take on the web-slinger in Marvel Comics' "The Superior Spider-Man." In "The Amazing Spider-Man" #700, for those of you who aren't religious Marvel fans, Spider-Man had one last epic showdown with his arch-nemesis, Otto Octavius, (Doctor Octopus). Doc Ock was terminally ill at the time, and in his eternal treachery, he wanted to take Peter Parker down before he checked out of this world. (This was shortly after the story arc Slott did where Doc Ock pulled that great scheme where he almost destroyed the ozone layer and scorched the planet, "Ends of the Earth.") Octavius utilized a "brain-swapping" device stolen from the Trapster to trade bodies with Peter Parker, thus turning Peter Parker into Doctor Octopus, and Octavius into the "Superior Spider-Man." The fight ends with both characters in their opposite bodies falling from Avengers Tower, and even though Octavius (Spider-Man) cushions the fall with webbing, he makes sure to finish Parker, (now Doc Ock), off, but not before he promises Parker that he will lead the same hero's crusade that Parker had in his time as the Amazing Spider-Man.
      Though he has technically kept his promise to Parker, Octavius has sure revamped the way Spider-Man fights crime! I am sure the veteran fanboys are less than pleased over the death of Peter Parker, but how can anyone not be entertained by a superhero that uses unconventional, unethical, and just plain villainous methods to fight crime? With Octavius now running the wall-crawler's operations, he has managed to create thousands of spiderbots, (not unlike his previous octobots) and utilize them for surveillance purposes around NYC, (thus invading everyone's privacy), form his own privatized military force, blow up the Kingpin's Shadowland, (killing the Kingpin in the process), piss off all members of the Avengers countless times, kidnap the original members of the Sinister Six and control their minds so that he can use them as his own personal superhero team, blackmail the mayor of NYC, J. Jonah Jameson into giving him complete control of "Spider-Island," (formerly "The Raft," a metahuman prison), and cheat his way to his doctorate's degree at Empire State University, all the while making snide, condescending remarks to everyone he encounters in the process! Wow, what a jerk!! Surely the Spider-Man I grew up with wouldn't have done any of those things! It seems that as we approach issue #22, no one has found out that Octavius stole Peter Parker's body yet, but Parker's old girlfriend Carly sure has her suspicions. It will sure be interesting to see how the rest of this arc unfolds, and if Octavius is found out.. and by who! I know I'll be waiting in great anticipation! Homage is paid to Dan Slott for his creativity, and for lack of a better term, BALLS  in taking this beloved and infamous member of the Marvel Universe in a completely different direction.  Please feel free to add your comments on "The Superior Spider-Man" below.