THE TOP TEN GREATEST MAN-CHILDREN OF ALL TIME!!
What does it actually mean to be a "MANCHILD?" Lately, the term has fascinated me, as I find myself single and approaching thirty. Is a MANCHILD simply a grown-ass man who acts like a child, or are there more requirements?? Perhaps a MANCHILD collects lots of action figures and comic books? Maybe a MANCHILD plays video games all the time, gets high and doesn't clean up after himself? Surely most MANCHILDREN are mommies boys at least at heart... Either way, these ten famous "MANCHILDREN" from American pop culture sure know how to live.. and might help shed some light on how to become the perfect MANCHILD..
10.) TIM "THE TOOLMAN" TAYLOR: HOME IMPROVEMENT
Do you know how a child might get into a household appliance and take it apart, thus rendering the appliance or device broken and useless? Tim "The Toolman" Taylor takes things apart and breaks them constantly in the t.v. sitcom Home Improvement. Al Boreland is a saint for putting up with Tim's antics every week on "Tool Time."
9.) THE ICE KING: ADVENTURE TIME
Some MANCHILDREN collect action figures or comic books. The Ice King is an old man who collects young princesses!! Like, LIVE ones! If that isn't bad enough, he lives with hundreds of stinky penguins and bangs on his drum set all day.. usually without creating a consistent beat... like a child would.
8.) PETER GRIFFIN: FAMILY GUY
Peter's antics are never less than childish.. Whether he's taking the "Petercopter" out for a spin, dressing up like The A-Team and making everything worse or having no-holds-barred brawls in public with a giant chicken, when Peter is up to something.. lookout!!
7.) ERIC CARTMAN: SOUTH PARK
Cartman is not a real grown man yet, but he's a whiney, pudgey, bossy little mommies boy who is always making her get him more cheesy poofs!!!
6.) RICKY: TRAILER PARK BOYS
Ricky thinks life's all about eatin' chicken fingers and gettin' drunk. If you're looking for Ricky, he's probably smoking dope in public, piling kids in his "shitmobile" to go steal barbecues or running an illegal gas station. Talk to Jim Lahey down at Sunnyvale Trailer Park for more info.
5.) JOHNNY BRAVO
Johnny Bravo is a Cartoon Network classic that's rarely on anymore, but when I can catch it.. it's always good for huge laughs! Johnny lives with his mother, (another mommies boy), hangs out with an irritating geek and is stalked by the little girl next door. Johnny only cares about eating his mother's home cooked meals, doing his hair, flexing his muscles and trying, always miserably, to pick up women.
4.) SHAZAM
Billy Babson is a young, mischievous boy who is granted the magical power of "Shazam." When Billy says the word, "Shazam," he is then turned into a grown man and caped superhero with magical powers. However, Billy's mind is still that of a young boy, thus often making him act like an immature MANCHILD. See Justice League: War for more on this!!
3.) HOMER SIMPSON
No one eats more donuts, drinks more beer, watches more t.v. or takes more naps at work than Homer Simpson. Those "Doh's" every time Homer screws up still haven't gotten old yet either.. We salute you Homer!!
2.) ALEX: GRANDMA'S BOY
Alex is a thirty-something year old, single video game programmer who lives with his beloved grandma and her two geriatric roomates. Alex may have the best life ever. He plays video games all day, gets high with his grandmother and still manages to get the girl.. (SPOILER ALERT)
1.) DALE DOBACK & BRENNAN HUFF: STEPBROTHERS
Dale and Brennan might have gotten off on the wrong foot, but once these two mischievous forty-year-olds starting doing karate in the garage, building bunk beds and jamming out.. it was just a matter of time before their parents went completely bananas!
...and as always....
STAY VIGILANT!!!
