A Very "Vigilant" Holiday Special
Whether it's a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannakuh, Happy Kwanzaa or just a jolly break from the work week you wish to have this HOLIDAY SEASON....
There's no need to sit cooped-up in your cave, underground lair, dungeon or swamp!!!
Stand tall and proud with your holiday cheer!!
Let that holiday smile grow from EAR to EAR!
Don't get let down by another man's jeers!
Cuz the holidays are great when the Vigilant Geek's near!!
The Top Ten Jolliest Comic Book Characters
Gambit ain't worried bout' nuthin monemie! When the going gets rough, stressing just ain't Gambit's style. Instead of losing his cool like Wolverine, or becoming an insufferable, bossy micro-manager like Cyclops, Gambit remembers to take his well-deserved X-Men union breaks, in which he usually does something nice and relaxing, like take a cat nap or play solitaire!
9.) The Human Torch:
Thriving on Ben Grimm's day-to-day misery, Johnny Storm uses The Thing to poke fun of any time he needs a quick pick-me-up! Poor Thing.
8.) Alfred Pennyworth:
This man is a saint! He deals with his boss's awful mood swings every day, and even though Master Bruce never eats the delicious meals Alfred slaves over a hot stove to serve him, Alfred never loses hope.
7.) Tony Stark:
Billionaire, Genius, Playboy, Philanthropist...
What the heck does Iron Man have to be upset about these days? Women falling into his lap left and right, an endless supply of money and a weaponized battle suit that can protect him from almost anything imaginable.. Tony's a happenin' dude!
6.) Jubilee:
When Jubilee's not busy getting herself captured, she can project adorable fireworks from her fingertips! What is more joyous than someone who can materialize sparklers out of thin air?
5.) Shazam:
Shazam is a manchild by the name of Billy Babson. Since Shazam is essentially a young boy in a superhero's body, he is always young at heart. His youth usually always keeps him in a happy-go-lucky mood, even when faced with grave danger!
4.) Spider-Man:
No other superhero is constantly crapped all over as much as the wall crawler. With NYC's mayor, mainstream media, police department and the widest array of crazy villains this side of the Marvel Universe all looking to rain on his parade all the time, it's a truly AMAZING feat for this man to still be in such a great mood everyday, telling hilarious jokes and quips while going up against colossal displays of evil, corruption and ignorance. Go Spidey!
3.) Deadpool:
Wade Wilson is one of a kind! Shown above presenting Black Widow with a very sentimental "Dick in a Box," he proves time and time again that he truly is the "Regeneratin' Degenerate."
2.) Harley Quinn:
This gorgeous, goofy gal pal of the Joker's is always giggling!! Too bad she's also a murdering psychopath!
1.) The Joker:
Now this guy knows how to party!!
***and now conversely:
The Top Ten Biggest Comic Book "Scrooges"
Black Bolt went out Christmas caroling with his pals in the terrigen mists one evening and it did not end well! Black Bolt quickly realized that due to his booming voice, Christmas caroling was a terrible idea! His singing voice generated a sonic boom that shattered all the windows in the neighborhood and ruined Christmas for everyone! Black Bolt is still in his room sulking.
9.) Sauron:
Sauron doesn't even know what Christmas is!!!! He's a freaking dinosaur!!!!!!!!
8.) The Kingpin:
Spider-Man ate all of the Kingpin's Christmas candy while he was on the john!! This is how he reacts. Real mature Mr. Fisk.
7.) Mr. Freeze:
Mr. Freeze has a frozen wife and a frozen life and he hates Christmas, Jesus and Bruce Wayne. Oddly enough however, he actually loves 1980's white rapper "Vanilla Ice."
6.) The Penguin:
Oswald Cobblepot spends his holiday season stealing Christmas candy from little kids and robbing local retirement homes. Despicable.
5.) Doctor Doom:
When Victor Von Doom was a little boy, he wanted a cute puppy for Christmas, but his mother went for a more practical gift and got him flashcards instead! Ever since that point, Dr. Doom has hated Christmas! As the Latverian monarch, he has banned Christmas throughout his jurisdiction!!
4.) Wolverine:
Wolverine is murdering Santa! This is uncalled for!
3.) Lex Luthor:
All Lex wanted was a new head of hair for Christmas..
2.) Larfleeze:
Larfleeze loved the idea of Christmas when he first discovered it. He was over-joyed that there was a being named "Santa Claus" that would bring any gifts one asked for as long as it was on a list! Being the greediest being in the universe, Larfleeze made a Christmas list miles long! When Christmas morning came and Larfleeze did not receive any of the gifts he asked for, he went on a hunt for old St. Nick, throwing enormous tantrums and taking out shopping mall Santas along the way!
1.) Batman:
*** Welcome to the only place on the web where comic books and the holidays are combined and celebrated together!!! This year I thought to myself, what better way to spread yuletide cheer to comic book geeks everywhere than to have a few good old "Top Tens"? To bring in the holiday season, we have the official Vigilant Geek Top Ten Jolliest Comic Book Characters, followed swiftly by the Top Ten Comic Book Holiday Scrooges listed below for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!
The Top Ten Jolliest Comic Book Characters
10.) Gambit:
Gambit ain't worried bout' nuthin monemie! When the going gets rough, stressing just ain't Gambit's style. Instead of losing his cool like Wolverine, or becoming an insufferable, bossy micro-manager like Cyclops, Gambit remembers to take his well-deserved X-Men union breaks, in which he usually does something nice and relaxing, like take a cat nap or play solitaire!
9.) The Human Torch:
Thriving on Ben Grimm's day-to-day misery, Johnny Storm uses The Thing to poke fun of any time he needs a quick pick-me-up! Poor Thing.
8.) Alfred Pennyworth:
This man is a saint! He deals with his boss's awful mood swings every day, and even though Master Bruce never eats the delicious meals Alfred slaves over a hot stove to serve him, Alfred never loses hope.
7.) Tony Stark:
Billionaire, Genius, Playboy, Philanthropist...
What the heck does Iron Man have to be upset about these days? Women falling into his lap left and right, an endless supply of money and a weaponized battle suit that can protect him from almost anything imaginable.. Tony's a happenin' dude!
6.) Jubilee:
When Jubilee's not busy getting herself captured, she can project adorable fireworks from her fingertips! What is more joyous than someone who can materialize sparklers out of thin air?
5.) Shazam:
Shazam is a manchild by the name of Billy Babson. Since Shazam is essentially a young boy in a superhero's body, he is always young at heart. His youth usually always keeps him in a happy-go-lucky mood, even when faced with grave danger!
4.) Spider-Man:
No other superhero is constantly crapped all over as much as the wall crawler. With NYC's mayor, mainstream media, police department and the widest array of crazy villains this side of the Marvel Universe all looking to rain on his parade all the time, it's a truly AMAZING feat for this man to still be in such a great mood everyday, telling hilarious jokes and quips while going up against colossal displays of evil, corruption and ignorance. Go Spidey!
3.) Deadpool:
Wade Wilson is one of a kind! Shown above presenting Black Widow with a very sentimental "Dick in a Box," he proves time and time again that he truly is the "Regeneratin' Degenerate."
2.) Harley Quinn:
This gorgeous, goofy gal pal of the Joker's is always giggling!! Too bad she's also a murdering psychopath!
1.) The Joker:
Now this guy knows how to party!!
***and now conversely:
The Top Ten Biggest Comic Book "Scrooges"
10.) Black Bolt:
Black Bolt went out Christmas caroling with his pals in the terrigen mists one evening and it did not end well! Black Bolt quickly realized that due to his booming voice, Christmas caroling was a terrible idea! His singing voice generated a sonic boom that shattered all the windows in the neighborhood and ruined Christmas for everyone! Black Bolt is still in his room sulking.
9.) Sauron:
Sauron doesn't even know what Christmas is!!!! He's a freaking dinosaur!!!!!!!!
8.) The Kingpin:
Spider-Man ate all of the Kingpin's Christmas candy while he was on the john!! This is how he reacts. Real mature Mr. Fisk.
7.) Mr. Freeze:
Mr. Freeze has a frozen wife and a frozen life and he hates Christmas, Jesus and Bruce Wayne. Oddly enough however, he actually loves 1980's white rapper "Vanilla Ice."
6.) The Penguin:
Oswald Cobblepot spends his holiday season stealing Christmas candy from little kids and robbing local retirement homes. Despicable.
5.) Doctor Doom:
When Victor Von Doom was a little boy, he wanted a cute puppy for Christmas, but his mother went for a more practical gift and got him flashcards instead! Ever since that point, Dr. Doom has hated Christmas! As the Latverian monarch, he has banned Christmas throughout his jurisdiction!!
4.) Wolverine:
Wolverine is murdering Santa! This is uncalled for!
3.) Lex Luthor:
All Lex wanted was a new head of hair for Christmas..
2.) Larfleeze:
Larfleeze loved the idea of Christmas when he first discovered it. He was over-joyed that there was a being named "Santa Claus" that would bring any gifts one asked for as long as it was on a list! Being the greediest being in the universe, Larfleeze made a Christmas list miles long! When Christmas morning came and Larfleeze did not receive any of the gifts he asked for, he went on a hunt for old St. Nick, throwing enormous tantrums and taking out shopping mall Santas along the way!
1.) Batman:
Batman is so rude about the holidays. The Joker is always doing such nice things for him, giving him thoughtful gifts and preparing fun little games, and the guy doesn't even say thank you!
Have a safe and happy holiday season!
-Your Pal with the Comic Book Know-How,
The Vigilant Geek
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